


3AM Discoveries

by NoirBlanc333



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, First Time Blow Jobs, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rimming, Self-Hatred, Super soldier recovery time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 06:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28346946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoirBlanc333/pseuds/NoirBlanc333
Summary: They were both supposed to be asleep."He doesn’t know exactly what he heard that stopped him. Bucky stills his breathing, straining his hearing to catch the noise again. There it was—a pained whine coming from behind the door. In hindsight, there were plenty of signs as to why he shouldn’t have cracked open the door. But Steve’s safety was his first priority. Nothing could prepare the soldier for what he saw."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 68
Kudos: 170





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky had been suffering through sleepless nights for months. At first, it was remnants of Winter Soldier programming, decades of only sleeping when allowed. Even after that, there was the issue of nightmares. Faces he didn’t recognize pleading for mercy. He may not remember them, but his subconscious would never let him forget.

For the past couple of weeks, it had gotten better, only a couple of bad nights a week. One such night being today. Rather than waking Steve up, he opted for a glass of water, and an hour or two at the gym Stark had fit into his tower. He certainly hadn’t anticipated Steve being awake well past midnight. They had gone to their respective rooms after a movie hours ago.

Becoming a super-soldier had enhanced his senses, hearing being one of them. Every room in the tower had soundproofing that could be enabled by JARVIS, at least according to Stark- who always had a gleam in his eye, like he was in on a joke only he knew. Steve had clearly forgotten to turn his on. Bucky walked past Steve’s door as quietly as possible, trying to not wake him up. 

He doesn’t know exactly what he heard that stopped him. Bucky stills his breathing, straining his hearing to catch the noise again. There it was—a pained whine coming from behind the door. In hindsight, there were plenty of signs as to why he shouldn’t have cracked open the door. But Steve’s safety was his first priority. Nothing could prepare the soldier for what he saw.

First, it was the unmistakable heady scent of arousal, the potent smell of semen and sweat. Then came the sounds—the obscene squelching. The breathless gasps and choked off moans. Hushed whispers muffled by pillows. And the original sound that piqued Bucky’s interest, the whining. Lastly, the sight of Steve Rogers, ass in the air, fingering himself.

It was wrong to stand there gaping at Steve like a freak show at a circus. He _knew_ that, yet the shock wasn’t wearing off. He couldn’t peel his eyes away. They were fixated at the point where Steve’s fingers were buried deep inside himself, thrusting in and out of the glistening pink rim of muscle.

“F-fuck right there, please more.” Steve mutters, barely audible for the human ear to catch. That’s the thing, Bucky’s hearing was much better than the average human’s. A warmth spreads throughout Bucky’s body as he realizes what he’s doing. He’s watching his best friend jerk off. He was invading the privacy of the one person who had always been by his side.

“Oh god, Bucky. Buck, please, more. I’m going to-“ Steve lets out a loud cry hardly muffled by the pillow he had shoved his face into. His body trembles as he lets out copious spurts of cum. Steve shudders before slumping onto the bed, clearly exhausted.

Bucky shuts the door softly, with two thoughts in mind. First, Steve thought about him while he fucked himself in the middle of the night. Second, Steve had come without even touching his cock. Bucky trudges to his room silently, mind racing. He leans against the door and looks down at the tent in his pants.

” _Fuck_ , Stevie.” He whispers to no one. He shuts his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t assaulted by the images of the people he had hurt. Instead, it was Steve. 

The curve and slope of Steve’s body as he was presenting his ass to the air. The miles of golden skin flushed pink. The way his cock and balls, heavy with need, dangled between his spread thighs. Along with the visuals were the sounds. And God-- the sounds Steve made were sinful. His broken moans and soft whining. Pleading for something, _someone_ , he was pleading for Bucky.

At that thought, his restraint snapped; the carefully built self-control he had built up over the months of his recovery flew away. Bucky wasted no time freeing himself of the constricting pants, letting them pool around his ankles. 

For a moment, Bucky was at a loss. How long had it last been since he touched himself? Brought himself to completion willingly? Better yet, when was the last time he got hard because of a want and not biology? Before Hydra, the serum, and war, Bucky had been insatiable. What happened to him?

Even through that depressing line of thought, his erection hadn’t flagged. Steve was potent, to say the least. He wraps his right hand around his cock, the one not made of metal. It’s cold around the heated flesh. He wants to groan at the sweet relief he feels at just a quick squeeze.

The friction between the rough skin of his palm and that of his cock was glorious. Still, there wasn’t enough lubrication to aid his ministrations. He quickly licks his palm. Bucky focuses back on Steve, particularly the moment he had cried out his name. He can’t stop a groan from slipping past his lips as a thick drop of precum wells at the tip of his cock.

Bucky alters what he had seen in his mind; rather than it being Steve’s fingers, it was his cock thrusting in and out of Steve. Maybe it was wrong to imagine gripping Steve’s hips with enough force that they bruise, even momentarily, but Bucky couldn’t care less. 

At this point, Bucky’s hips were moving on their own, snapping into his palm. The image of Steve in front of him, moaning wantonly, drives him. He can feel the high he’s chasing approaching, heat builds up in his lower abdomen, and every single muscle in his body contracts in preparation.

_Oh god, Bucky. Buck, please, more. I’m going to-_

“Steve, shit, I’m co-” He whites out, sliding down the door, letting his body crumple onto the floor. It takes a few minutes to catch his breath after his first orgasm in years.

The high only lasts a few moments before Bucky is hit with the guilt, remorse, disgust, and self-hatred he’s come to live with every day. Although, this time it’s for a much different reason than his past crimes. Murderer, psychopath, and criminal, why not add pervert?

He sits on the floor until his cum cools and starts to stick to his skin. Only then does he shower, rubbing his skin raw, washing off semen, sweat, and silent tears. In the end, he can’t wash off the disgust he feels.

Bucky half-heartedly dries off before collapsing into his bed. He stares up at the ceiling, five-thirty-eight AM. Steve would be up and about any minute, getting ready for his early morning run. He’d have to face him. Bucky doesn’t go to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pt. 2?  
> My Tumblr? noirblanc333  
> Come talk to me!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buckys been avoiding Steve and that isn't going to work for Steve.

Something was wrong. Steve knew something was wrong as soon as he saw Bucky-- if you could even call it that-- he had been in the process of sneaking out of their shared floor of Stark tower. Typically, Bucky wanting to go somewhere that wasn’t the kitchen, gym, or living area was great. Bucky hiding things from Steve and sneaking away, that was not typical. 

Not that Bucky can’t have his privacy, but this wasn’t that. Steve had asked Bucky to join him for breakfast in hopes of finding out where he was going; Bucky declined before slinking onto the elevator. It hurt, but eventually, Bucky would come to him. 

Two weeks later, Steve hadn’t seen the elusive ex-assassin since that morning. It wasn’t that he wasn’t around. He just wasn’t around Steve. No one else in the tower seemed to have realized that the usually inseparable pair weren’t so inseparable.

Bucky had given no indication of something being wrong that night before they went to bed two weeks ago. Yet, the next morning _everything_ was wrong. At this point, Steve wasn’t above cornering him in some dark and secluded area of the tower and forcing him to spill the truth. 

“Hey, Tony, do you know where Bucky is?” There was a brief flash of confusion on Tony’s face before he answered; after all, since when does Steve not know where Bucky is?

“I think he went to the gym again.” Steve flashes him a quick grin before heading toward the gym. Bucky walking out of the gym right when Steve walks in would be too obvious. He’d be forced to stay and speak to Steve, at least if he was planning on continuing this charade of everything being okay.

The gym doors slide open, and Steve is greeted by the sight of Bucky brutally attacking one of Tony’s modified punching bags. They were built to survive a bit of abuse from a super soldier, but there was already one destroyed bag lying on the gym floor.

“Buck?” The man in question stops his onslaught, freezing at the sound of Steve’s voice behind him.

“Yeah, Steve?” Bucky’s voice is raspy and thick with anxiety. He doesn’t turn toward Steve, his attention focused on unwrapping his knuckles.

“What’s- do you wanna spar? I can take a punch much better than those bags after all.” Steve cuts himself off from asking the question he really wants the answer to. Bucky turns to look at Steve, his expression perfectly neutral, giving nothing away. A smug grin makes its way onto his face.

“C’mon Steve, you know I’m just gonna kick your ass anyway. Don’t you want to save yourself the embarrassment?” Bucky switches into his accent from before the war when they were _much_ younger. This was a perfectly normal interaction between the two men to any bystander, but they both knew the smile was forced, and the teasing tone was faked.

“Prove it.” There’s a pause, and the air in the room is almost heavy with tension as they stare at each other. Bucky is the first to break eye contact, his eyes flicker down to Steve’s lips-- so red, so soft, they would look perfect wrapped around him-- then focus on a spot right behind him.

“Fine.”

He was fucked. Rolling around on a mat with a sweaty Steve? How the hell was he supposed to do that without an inappropriate boner? Avoiding Steve was supposed to be temporary, just until he could get rid of the thoughts he was having. But then it was just easier to avoid him than try to act like everything was fine. 

“Same rules as always?” Steve’s question snaps Bucky out of his spiral, but before he can respond, Steve’s stripping off his shirt, leaving him in shorts that don’t leave much to the imagination. Bucky’s mouth instantly goes dry.

“I-...” Against his will, his eyes keep drifting down to Steve’s newly exposed chest. He was beautiful. Steve Rogers is absolutely gorgeous. Bucky wanted to claim every piece of Steve for himself. He wanted to leave marks all over Steve’s chest, let’s be honest, tits. Trail kisses down from his pale pink nipples below his shorts’ waistband, and Bucky didn’t even need to imagine what _that_ looked like.

“The normal rules work.” Bucky mutters breathlessly, and if Steve notices, he doesn’t say anything. They make their way to the area set aside for sparring. Steve rolls his shoulders, getting ready for what will surely be a heated match.

They size each other from their respective sides of the mat. Bucky finds himself subconsciously slipping back into old habits from being the Winter Soldier. Steve takes the first step forward, throwing a punch that Bucky easily rebuffs.

“Is that all you got, Rogers? I really will kick your ass.” Their previous awkwardness melts away as they settle into a familiar and comfortable rhythm, teasing jabs and punches with no actual menace behind them.

There is a palpable shift between them as Bucky steps forward. They collide as Bucky swings towards Steve’s face. Steve grabs his wrist and twists, only for Bucky to bring him down with him. Using their momentum, Bucky pins Steve to the floor.

“Tap out,” Bucky whispers as he becomes more aware of their _position_. He tightens his grip on Steve’s wrist, using his body weight to keep him down. 

“Hell no,” Steve flips them over, straddling Bucky’s waist. Bucky can feel the press of Steve’s ass, there’s no way he won’t be able to tell if he gets hard now. The previous focus Bucky had on their little match dissipates, replaced with the need to see the rest of Steve’s body up close and personal.

“You win, get off of me.” Bucky grumbles as he tries to think of anything but slipping into the heat of Steve’s body right now. Rather than expelling that line of thought from his mind, it makes its way to the forefront. The way sweat would settle on Steve’s skin as he rides Bucky’s cock, his own smacking against taunt muscles. Would he still make those adorable sounds, or would Bucky fuck him to the point he screamed? Cried?

“I thought you were gonna kick my ass, Buck?” There were plenty of things Bucky wanted to do to Steve’s ass right now. Kicking it wasn’t high up on the list. A familiar warmth makes its way through Bucky’s body, his cock twitches in interest

“I said, you win. _Get off_.” Steve's brows bunch together on his forehead. What had he done for Bucky to be so desperate to get away from him? He shifts back, pulling away in hurt. Steve’s eyes widen as he feels the shape of what could only be Bucky’s hardened cock nestling it’s way in between his ass. Steve meets Bucky’s gaze, and the silence in the room says more than words ever could.

“Steve, _please_ , let me go,” Bucky begs from beneath him. Steve quickly lets go of Bucky’s hands, which he had pinned to the floor. Neither of them know what to say as Bucky scrambles away from their compromising position.

“Bucky, it’s perfectly normal-”

“Just don’t, Steve. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“It seems like you don’t want to talk about anything anymore. If this about a few awkward boners it’s fine, Bucky. It’s certainly not the first time.” Living and being around another man as long as Steve and Bucky had led to some embarrassing situations.

“Jesus, Steve. Leave it alone, I’m handling it.”

“I did leave it alone! For two weeks! But this is ridiculous, Bucky. Why won’t you just talk to me? I just want to help you.” Steve tries to get closer to him, but Bucky just inches further away, his hands covering his crotch and a dark blush on his cheeks.

There was no way of explaining this to Steve without telling him why he couldn’t control himself because of what he’d done, what he’d seen. Not only would that embarrass Steve, but then Steve would know what kind of person Bucky truly was, and this couldn’t be blamed on the Winter Soldier. This was pure Bucky Barnes.

“I miss you, Bucky. What did I do wrong?” Steve Rogers had a tendency to always shift blame to himself and take responsibility for shit that wasn’t remotely his fault.

“Christ, Steve, it wasn’t anything you did.” Bucky groans. He can tell that ignoring Steve isn’t working-- he knew it wouldn’t work. 

“You know no matter what it is, you’ll always have me? Us? We’re till the end of the line, right?” Bucky can feel his heart pounding in his ribcage. Whether that be from his creeping panic or steady arousal was a mystery. Steve deserves to know. He has to tell him, regardless of the repercussions.

"Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3? Most likely because of that cliffhanger.  
> Thank you for the comments and kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finally finds out the truth... or is it?

“So what?” Steve’s heart is racing, he would finally find out, and they could go back to normal.

“I-I... I can’t, I’m sorry, Steve. I can’t.” Bucky picks himself off the gym floor and rushes out of the room in a hurry, leaving Steve by himself in shock.

Maybe if Steve had come back to his senses quicker, he could’ve caught up to him, but he didn’t. Bucky was so scared. Did he really think anything he could say would ruin what they had? They didn’t keep secrets from each other, except for Steve’s secret. The one he would take to his grave. 

“JARVIS?” Steve asks, hopefully to the empty room.

“How may I be of assistance, Captain Rogers?” 

“Great, you’re here. I was wondering if I could access the security feed on my floor from two weeks ago?”

“Would you like me to upload it to your phone, Captain?”

“Yes, and JARVIS anything from the hours of twelve am to seven am January seventh.”

“Very well.” Steve picks up his discarded shirt and lets out a sigh. He didn’t want to do this, he wanted Bucky to tell him himself, but that clearly wasn’t happening. Hopefully, the security cameras caught something he missed.

“Capsicle, a little birdie told me you’re looking for tapes?” Steve raises a brow at Tony. He usually wanted very little to do with anything that regarded Bucky, which was understandable.

“Yeah, I figure that’s what they’re for, right? Checking things?” Tony looks at him for a moment, a serious expression on his face, before replying.

“Yeah, happy hunting, Cap.” Steve nods before making his way onto the Stark Tower elevator, taking it to his floor.

Rather than going straight to his phone, Steve heads to his bathroom. A shower helped to clear his head and bring things into focus. He drops his discarded clothes into the laundry basket that is somehow always empty. Before stepping into the shower, Steve looks at himself in the mirror. What did he do? Could he ever fix it? Maybe Bucky didn’t want to. Perhaps that’s why he won’t tell him what’s wrong.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Everything was wrong. Steve was wrong. The quiet voices of insecurity whisper in Steve’s head, this is why Bucky would never love him. He can’t fix his own mistakes; he doesn’t even know what they are. After all, who else’s fault could it be that Bucky is leaving him than his own.

Steve steps into the hot spray of the shower, the water stings as it hits his skin, but it’s good. He stops listening to the demons in his mind, he would figure out what was wrong, and everything would go back to how it was. Steve and Bucky would sit by each other on the couch and catch up on modern times together.

All Steve wants is for Bucky to be happy, it’s what he deserves, after all, that’s happened to him. A selfish part of Steve wants to be the reason Bucky smiles, a small unrealistic portion of Steve. But sometimes he indulges it, lets himself imagine that instead of sitting next to Bucky, he could lay on top of him. Their legs intertwined with Bucky’s arms around him.

It’s usually just innocent fantasies about what life would be like if Bucky felt the same way Steve did, but not always. In the privacy of his room or his shower, he would think about Bucky and let his hands wander. He would touch himself, the way he wished Bucky would. Would Bucky be firm yet gentle? Or rough and wild with passion?

Steve slides his hand down his navel, cupping his balls as his cock fills. It doesn’t take long; he had already started sporting a half chub at the feeling of Bucky underneath him. That hadn’t been fair, everything Steve wanted was right there, and he couldn’t have it.

It doesn’t take much to make Steve come if he played with his ass. He had always been sensitive, but he was weak when it came to anal stimulation. His knees go weak as he rubs his rim, the pads of his middle and ring finger teasing his entrance. 

One of the things Steve loved about the twenty-first century was how easy it was to find pleasure. After some investigation online, Steve learned about how to turn a showerhead into an outlet for _fun_. He quickly washes the nooks and crannies of his body. Hygiene is important to him.

Steve widens his stance and angles the detachable showerhead at his hole, already twitching in anticipation. He turns the water pressure up and lets out a loud moan at the initial flood of water against him. His eyes roll to the back of his head in pleasure. His nipples pebble as a bolt of lust jolts up his spine. Steve quickly turns into a babbling mess and leans against the cool shower walls, his face pressed against the marble.

He calls out Bucky’s name. Who was there to hear him? Steve presents his ass further, spreading his cheeks apart for more direct access. How he wished it was Bucky instead, telling him to hold himself open as he fucked his tongue in and out of him. 

When Steve was soft, and open Bucky would press in his fingers, rubbing them against his prostate mercilessly as he traces his rim over and over with his tongue. He wouldn’t need to touch Steve’s cock, and if he did, he would shoot off instantly, spattering the shower wall with cum.

At this point, Steve can barely hold himself up-- he’s so close he just needs something to push him over the edge. His mind flashes back to earlier in the gym. God, Bucky was big. After opening Steve up with his fingers, he’d fuck him against the same wall he’s clinging to right now. He’d split him open, and Steve wouldn’t even care because Bucky would be his. With that, Steve is gone, his cock erupts, and for a moment, Steve swears he can feel Bucky’s breath on the back of his neck.

Steve shuts off the water and stumbles out of the shower on unsteady legs, his pulse racing. That was intense. He dries off and dresses, but it’s all a blur, and by the time he’s finally all back together from his orgasm, he passes out in bed.

Steve regains consciousness an hour or so later, he’s confused, and then it all comes rushing back, the gym, the tapes, and the shower. He feels his lower half throb at the mention of his mind-blowing orgasm. But that was over now. Steve was focusing on their friendship right now, not his desires.

Steve settles down on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. He pulls out his Stark issued phone and quickly finds the files JARVIS had downloaded. The cameras focus on all public areas, kitchen, living area, and hallways. Steve wouldn’t be able to tell what happened in Bucky’s room, but he’d definitely see if he left.

He sees Bucky and himself go to their rooms around midnight. He skims through an hour, and Bucky is out of his room. Steve watches him drink a glass of water and go downstairs. With JARVIS’s aid once again, he finds out Bucky went to the gym, and he didn’t see anyone there or along the way. 

Steve expects Bucky to go straight back to bed, but he stops outside of Steve’s room. This has to be it. Nothing else makes sense. Bucky opens Steve’s bedroom door slightly, and Bucky’s body goes rigid. The angling makes it impossible to see what’s happening in the room, but Steve already knows.

He had woken up sad and alone, nothing out of the usual, but he decided to indulge himself. Steve recalls fingering himself until he passed out in his cum. How did he not notice? Not hear the sound of the door opening? 

There is no way Bucky couldn’t tell what Steve was doing, the lights were on, and Steve’s ass had been pointed directly at the door. The door he thought he locked. It all finally makes sense now. Steve wants to cry at the realization.

Bucky knows about Steve’s feelings, and he’s disgusted, of course, he is. Steve knew that things between them could never work out. Even though plenty of gay people got married now and the world was accepting. Steve and Bucky are from the past. A past where you got jumped if you looked at a man the wrong way. And Steve had been moaning for Bucky like a whore at a couple of fingers.

Steve can feel his eyes brim with tears as he watches Bucky shut the door and rush back to his room, closing it behind him. The unshed tears in Steve’s eyes spill, running down his cheeks. Bucky was right; things couldn’t be the same. Bucky was normal, and he could never be friends with Steve after what he saw. 

No, Steve couldn’t lose Bucky. When Bucky eventually came back, he would promise to change. Steve would stop thinking about Bucky. He would even let Bucky hurt him if he needed to. It was only fair. He would never touch himself again. Never do something so disgusting, he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final installment will be coming soon! I hope you enjoy this one. Poor Steve and Bucky...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally speak.

Bucky had been expecting Steve to already be in bed. When he crept out of the elevator at one am his heart jumped at the sight of Steve sitting on the couch. The elevator doors close behind him before he can escape once again.

“Bucky wait, I know you don’t want to talk about it and I understand you’re probably uncomfortable with me right now, but please I need to apologize.” Bucky looks at Steve in confusion, why would Steve need to apologize? 

“I’m sorry. I promise you that I’m gonna change, I already have, okay? I’ll make it go away, you don’t have to worry. And If you still don’t want to be around me, that’s fine. It’s the least I deserve.” Steve rambles on about something that doesn’t make any sense to Bucky.

“- and if you want to, you can hit me. I won't fight back.” A flash of panic floods through Bucky’s system, what the fuck was Steve talking about?

“Steve, what the fuck?” Bucky barely recognized Steve. His eyes were red and sunken like he had been crying for hours. He looked dead, all of the life sucked out of him leaving a hollow shell.

“I know what they used to do back then to guys like me.” Steve had his right arm across his body gripping the elbow of his left, his eyes stuck to the floor.

“Guys like you?” Bucky takes a step forward and Steve flinches in response.

“You really want me to say it, Buck? Fairies? Cock-sucking bent-” Before Steve can finish, Bucky grabs him by the front of his shirt and Steve closes his eyes, waiting for the blow.

“Don’t _ever_ talk that about yourself like you’re worth anything less than the world, Steven Grant Rogers, or next time I’ll actually kick the shit out of you.” Bucky was livid. Steve had always been dainty before the serum, and there had been plenty of people who resorted to slurs to get a rise out of the smaller man. Bucky had no problem meeting them in back alleys and giving them better than he got.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Steve.”

“God, Bucky, I _know_. I asked Jarvis for the tapes for this floor. I know what you saw me doing; that's why you're acting like after all, right?” The fire in Steve’s eyes reignite, he pries his shirt out of Bucky’s grip. Bucky’s fury melts away, first replaced by confusion, understanding, and finally a cold, distant, impassive expression.

“So that's what you think of me? That I'm a homophobic asshole? That I care what you like?” Guilt flashes across Steve’s face; even back then, Bucky had always accepted people for what they were. That doesn't mean Steve ever told him how he felt though.

“Well what was I supposed to think? You can’t take the time to talk to me. For fucks sake, you ran away, Bucky. You didn’t even tell me what I did wrong.” Steve’s voice cracks with emotion, the words getting stuck. Bucky’s eyes widen at the blatant display of emotion from Steve. Sure there had been anger, reckless passion, and happiness, but Steve didn’t cry in front of others.

“I-I’m sorry, Steve. I was ashamed. I knew what I did was wrong but I couldn’t face you. I didn’t wanna see the disappointment on your face, I couldn’t handle that from you.” Now it was Steve’s turn to be confused.

“What? Why would you be ashamed?” 

“Oh, Stevie… I need to be honest with you, because clearly there have been a lot of misunderstandings.” Steve nods slowly before pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth. Bucky has to stop himself from groaning out loud.

“The reason I ran away was because I wanted you, Steve, more than I had ever wanted anything. I watched you, and this is me admitting that. I watched like a sick pervert. I wish I could say it was shock or embarrassment that kept me standing in your doorway, but it wasn’t. So, yeah, I can’t be near you without wanting to strip you naked and bend you over the closest surface. I can’t look at you without imagining what you would look like with your lips wrapped around my cock. I want you everyday, I wanna wake up next to you in the morning. Go on your stupid runs at ungodly times in the morning. After a hundred years I finally realized I’m in love with you.” For a moment they both stare at each other, Steve blushing from head to toe.

“Please say something. I can’t keep living like this.”

“I-... Didn’t you hear me calling _your_ name?” Bucky blinks at Steve as he processes the words he just spoke.

“Well, yes, but I’m not the same Bucky Barnes that you grew up with. I’m different now. Didn’t you just hear me tell you that-” Steve seals his lips over Bucky’s, cutting him off. 

“I know you aren’t the same, but I loved you before and I love you now, Buck, regardless.” The tears that had been filling Steve’s eyes finally fell and Bucky couldn’t help but pull him into another kiss, moving his lips against Steve’s.

“Fuck, are you sure, Steve? You know I’m messed up. I come with so much extra shit.” 

“Don’t care, I’ve been gone on you for so long.” Sliding his arms around Steve’s waist, Bucky lets go of everything. At this moment, everything was perfect, and that’s all that matters.

Neither one of them commented on the kiss salty from their tears because after a century of blood sweat and tears they were finally here. They coil their arms around each other, because at any moment this could be taken away. Steve’s fingers knot themselves in Bucky’s hair, tugging at the soft curls. Bucky groans into Steve’s mouth, he couldn’t believe he was sharing this with his Steve Rogers. 

Bucky strokes the skin that had become exposed when Steve looped his arms around Bucky’s neck. It was exactly as he imagined, soft yet firm and so warm. Deciding to take it a bit further, Bucky slides his hands up Steve’s shirt, the fabric bunching around his wrists. He lets his hands linger below Steve’s tits, cupping them slightly.

“Is this okay?”

“God, Bucky, _yes_.” Steve whimpers against Bucky’s neck, nuzzling the stretch of skin there. Bucky takes Steve’s tits in hand, kneading the muscles before pinching Steve’s nipples. Steve arches in response letting out a sharp cry. Bucky sucks on Steve’s collar bones although the marks would disappear quickly, he couldn’t help but to brand this beautiful creature as his own.

“Do you like that, Stevie?” Steve nods eagerly. He was sensitive Bucky couldn’t help but think. Both of their cocks had started to fill as Steve unconsciously gyrated his hips against Bucky’s.

Were they moving too fast? The question was on both of their minds but they couldn’t muster enough control to ask it. Bucky manages to pull away from Steve long enough to pull off his shirt, tossing it somewhere nearby. He wastes no more time with teasing kisses and sucking, quickly enclosing his mouth around Steve's hardened nipple, hot from Bucky’s hands already. 

Steve shrieks at the feeling of Bucky’s mouth on the swollen pebbles on his chest, he screws his eyes closed and his jaw falls open. It felt better than anything Steve had ever done to himself, the flick of a hot tongue, the gentle caress of huge hands, searing their imprint everywhere.

By now Steve was full mast and pressed against Bucky’s thigh that was giving him the perfect amount of friction to keep him on the edge. The pleasure was dizzying. Steve barely registers his legs giving out beneath him because Bucky is quick to steady him.

“Jump, Steve.” He didn’t even bother to ask how high, after all, Bucky would always catch him. Bucky guides Steve's legs around him, and Steve clings like a baby koala- so fucking adorable.

Steve weighed nothing in Bucky’s arms. Bucky’s body is on autopilot as he takes them back to Steve’s room, their lips meeting again in a searing kiss. Grinding their bodies against each other Steve can feel his climax coming and so can Bucky.

“Not yet, Sweetheart.” Steve whines petulantly. The soft sound sends Bucky to that night when he had seen Steve all by himself.

“I wanna put my fingers in you, is that okay?” Steve pulls away with a look of surprise.

“A-are you sure about that?”

“Of course I am, why?”

“I don’t know, you’ve only ever been with girls before. It’s not the same.” Steve’s face is flushed from their previous activities and he’s looking away from Bucky shyly.

“If you’re referring to the fact you’ve got a cock and balls, I already know that. And I assume you already have some slick in here.” Steve nods, his gaze flicking to a drawer next to his bed.

“Good, so, can I?”

“Y-yeah, it’s over there.” Bucky lays Steve onto the bed, holding his gaze for a moment before grabbing the half full bottle. Steve looks mesmerizing sprawled upon the sheets, his cock straining against the material of his sweats.

Bucky kisses Steve’s hip before sliding the pants off his legs, and of course he isn’t wearing anything underneath. Steve squirms at Bucky’s examining gaze. Was there something wrong? Was he too big? Too small? Maybe Bucky was realizing that he wasn’t actually attracted to men.

“Beautiful. Shit, Steve, you’re gorgeous.” Bucky’s eyes are full of sincerity, not a shred of doubt or repulsion anywhere. Steve shoots him a small smile.

“I’m feeling kinda underdressed, Buck.” Nodding in agreement, Bucky pulls off his shirt and unbuckles his belt, letting the tactical pants fall to the floor. Steve lets himself appreciate Bucky’s form, something he had never gotten the pleasure of doing prior to. 

After letting Steve get his fill, Bucky gets back to business. He had been fantasizing about this for so long and it was finally here. He kisses Steve's thigh before nipping at the reddening marks. Bucky makes his way up to his destination, pulling apart Steve’s thigh. Steve mutters under his breath, although Bucky can hear him the first time with his super hearing he asks him to repeat it louder.

“ _I said_ , I cleaned down there earlier.” Steve covers his face with his hands, but it doesn’t stop Bucky from seeing the flush of his skin, everywhere.

“It seems like you have something in mind, Steve. Do you want my mouth instead of my fingers?” A salacious grin makes its way onto Bucky’s face.

  
“B-both. I want both.” Bucky rubs his cheek against Steve’s thigh, leaving some temporary beard burn. Keeping eye contact with Steve, Bucky licks from his perineum to his heavy, cum filled balls.

“Hold your legs back for me doll.” Steve complies without complaint, pulling his legs back, towards the bed. Bucky traces the pink pucker of Steve’s hole with his tongue. It was just as pretty as he remembered.

Steve shudders at the contact of Bucky’s tongue with the most sensitive part of his body. Nothing could ever compare, Bucky had ruined him. Steve would never be able to feel this level of pleasure without Bucky. Just the sparks he felt at their skin touching was enough.

Bucky spreads Steve’s cheeks, noticing the surprisingly hairless area. Did Steve shave? Wax? Bucky doesn’t linger on that, he could ask Steve after he had gotten a proper taste of him. He flattens his tongue against Steve’s entrance, dragging his tongue slowly. It tasted just like the rest of Steve’s skin had, but god was this addicting. Bucky could see himself doing this for hours.

Steve lets himself get sucked into the pleasant pressure Bucky’s lazy licks gave. His eyes open at the sensation of Bucky’s tongue penetrating the rim of muscle, which easily gives way to the wriggling appendage. Steve can barely stop the scream that tries to tear its way out of his throat as Bucky’s starts to suck.

The sound of wet suckling and slurping noises echo throughout the room, along with Steve’s moans. Steve bites down on his lip in an attempt to be quiet but it was pointless because with every movement of Bucky’s mouth he was lost in pleasure again. Steve’s toes curl and his nails dig into his thighs and he struggles to not to grab Bucky’s head and grind against his mouth.

Bucky thrusts in and out of Steve, never was he more grateful for his long tongue. Steve had stray tears running down his face and his eyes kept rolling to the back of his head. Bucky’s cock felt like it was about to erupt, the pressure had been building and Steve’s sobs were only bringing him closer.

Subtly opening the jar of slick, Bucky coats the fingers of his right arm. He pushes in the index finger as he rims Steve, who barely notices the new intrusion. Bucky uses the finger to search for Steve’s sweet spot, he rubs against a small bump inside of Steve and then presses. Steve screams.

“Bucky! I’m gonna come if you just-” Steve doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Bucky swallows his cock down. Steve feels like he’s floating. The simultaneous stretch of another finger rubbing against his prostate and the heat of Bucky’s mouth is too much. Steve doesn’t even notice Bucky adding a third finger as he cums, spraying his chest with cum.

“Jesus, Steve. Baby, are you okay?” Bucky still has three fingers inside of him, Steve moans weakly as one accidentally rubs against his protate again. His cock twitches, the serum came with super refractory periods.

“Want you to cum too. Fuck me, Buck?” Steve pulls Bucky up, kissing him fervently. Bucky doesn’t care about Steve’s cum being rubbed into his own skin.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to just because-”

“Because you gave me the best orgasm in my life and now you’re going to give me another one?” Bucky’s lips twitch into a smile for a moment.

“Best orgasm of your life, huh?”

“You’re focusing on the wrong part.”

“Nope, I think my focus is exactly where it should be.” Bucky murmurs against Steve’s lips.

They both smile into the kiss, their easy banter extending to even now. Steve slides his hands down Bucky’s waist, tugging off his briefs that are already sticky with precum. He sheathes Bucky’s cock with his hand, Steve can him pulsing in his palm. Bucky groans, biting Steve’s lower lip.

“Steve, I’m so close. I won’t last.” Bucky can’t stop himself from fucking into Steve’s fist. Steve squeezes oh-so-slightly and Bucky cums embarrassingly quickly, adding on to the mess in between them.

“I’m gonna need you to get hard again and fuck me, Bucky.” Bucky rolls off of Steve and glances at him.

“Then suck me off, Princess.” Bucky grumbles. He looks absolutely sinful, his lips red and swollen, abs covered in cum, and long curly hair an absolute mess.

“If that’s what it takes.” Steve straddles Bucky’s thighs.

“Seems familiar, doesn’t it? Were you thinking about fucking my mouth back then in the gym, Buck?” Steve leans down and starts to lap at the cum smeared onto Bucky. He takes his time, licking every inch of skin free of the stickiness. Steve nuzzles his way down Bucky’s body, mouthing around the growing erection.

“Seems like you got that perk of the serum as well.” Just as Bucky was going to retort Steve licks his cock from balls to head.

“ _Fuck_.” Steve had never sucked someone’s dick before, but he assumed if he just sucked as Bucky fucked his throat it would work well enough. Steve pops the tip into his mouth, using his tongue to toy with it. Bucky places his hand onto Steve’s head.

“Can I?” Steve hums, the vibration sends chills up Bucky’s spine. Bucky slowly eases more of his cock down Steve’s throat, waiting to hit his gag reflex. Steve’s mouth is slack as Bucky keeps feeding him more and more.

“Oh, Steve, you’re just too perfect. No gag reflex?” Steve makes a noise of encouragement as Bucky hits the back of his throat. Steve can feel Bucky’s cock filling up in his mouth. Bucky pulls out and then goes right back into the heat of Steve’s mouth.

Bucky could cry, it felt incredible. He hadn’t felt someone’s mouth around him since the 1940’s and never had it been this good. Precum and spit make it easier for Bucky to slip in and out of Steve, who looks just as good as Bucky thought he would around his cock.

The sound of Bucky’s balls smacking against Steve’s chin and the wet sucking are only secondary to the sound of Bucky’s choked groans and moans as he starts to thrust faster. He holds Steve’s head, cupping the back of his neck as enjoys Steve’s pliancy.

Bucky closes his eyes, focusing all his senses on Steve, Steve, Steve. He opens them again, focusing on Steve’s blues. Bucky strokes the back of Steve’s head tenderly. Was he being too rough? Steve may not have a gag reflex, but that doesn’t mean he still couldn’t get hurt.

Bucky’s hips stutter momentarily. Steve doesn’t waste a second, bobbing his head down to the base, letting out a low rumble. Steve pulls off of Bucky’s cock with a loud pop.

“I can’t take it anymore, need you, Bucky.”

“Yeah, me too, Doll. C’mere.” Steve slides into Bucky’s lap, his cock rubbing against Steve’s hole.

“Slowly, okay? And we can stop whenever, Sweetheart.” Bucky covers his cock in slick just for good measure and then lines himself up.

“At your pace, Baby.” Steve nods and starts to lower himself down. Steve knew that Bucky was big, but it was different _feeling_ that Bucky was big.

“You’re doing so good, Stevie. Take as much time as you need.” Because of their positioning, Bucky is looking up to Steve. Steve gasps as he is fully seated in Bucky’s lap.

“You feel so good, Angel. So tight. I love you, I love you so much.” Bucky sucks on Steve’s neck while Steve gets used to him being inside of him.

“I love you, Bucky, for so long.” Steve sobs into Bucky’s shoulder. Steve lifts his hips slightly before letting gravity bring him back down. They both moan simultaneously. Bucky’s grip on Steve’s hips tightens, if he were normal there would be bruises in the morning.

Steve’s movements start to gain more confidence, Bucky’s hips jerk up into him, hitting that spot dead on. Steve claws at Bucky’s back as Steve tries to find it again. Steve bounces in Bucky’s lap, rolling his hips to find the right position. Once he does he can’t help but cry out again, burying his face where Bucky’s neck meets his shoulder.

“Right there, baby?” Steve whines as he grinds into Bucky’s lap again.

“I can’t do it, Bucky. It’s not enough.”

“I got you, Honey. I’m gonna flip us over, okay?” Steve nods eagerly at the suggestion. The jostling feels incredible, Steve groans in response.

Steve coils his legs around Bucky’s waist, they look into each other’s eyes as Bucky starts to move, shallow thrust with no particular aim. Steve melds their lips together and Bucky pushes all the way back in.

They start to build a slow pace, Steve pushing back into Bucky’s hips. Once Bucky finds the area to focus on, he allows himself to pick up the pace, searching for any sign of pain on Steve’s face. Steve urges Bucky to go faster with his hips.

“So beautiful, Steve.” Bucky murmurs down to Steve, driving his hips harder, making his mark in the sweet heat of Steve Rogers.

Steve begs Bucky for more and he’s all too happy to oblige, pulling almost all the way out only to return. Neither man is able to control their moans, this was everything they had been waiting for. 

It seemed like it would never happen but they were here. Bucky inside of Steve, their sweaty bodies grinding into each other. What else could two men lost in time ask for? Bucky lets out the tears he had been holding back this whole time, he was happy. In this moment he was whole.

“B-Bucky, we can make love later. I want you to fuck me right now. I wanna feel it.” Bucky doesn’t bother with a response, he just pushes Steve’s legs further apart and lifts his hips. Bucky swallows every noise Steve makes, but they’re still audible.

Bucky fucks everything he’s feeling into Steve, frustration, love, self-hatred, joy, anger, and fear. Steve holds on through it all. Bucky starts to get sloppy as he gets closer, but neither notice as they’re already going over the edge.

“I’m sorry for running away.”

“I forgive you

\---

“My throat is gonna be sore for at least an hour.” Steve whispers sleepily into Bucky’s chest as they bathe in the afterglow. 

“I was too rough, wasn’t I?” Bucky thinks back to fucking Steve’s throat.

“No, you were perfect. It’s from all the screaming. I never get to be that loud.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve always done it by myself. And you’ve always been nearby so..” Even in the forties Steve had to quiet himself so as to not wake Bucky up. Although, he probably wasn’t as successful as he thinks.

“Steve… I didn’t just take your virginity, right?” Bucky can feel Steve’s face getting hotter, even hidden in his chest.

“Steve, your first time is supposed to be special, it's supposed to be romantic.”

“This was special, Buck, but if you really wanna you can make it up to me.” Bucky perks up at that, paying close attention.

“How?”

“You can make love to me now.” Steve says kissing him softly.

“Steve, do you wax or shave?” Bucky mumbles against Steve’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THATS A WRAP! My first fic is complete...
> 
> Okay, my back hurts because I wrote this whole chapter in the worst position. It definitely wasn't supposed to be this long, but oh well. I'm sorry it took so long. I got busy and then I lost the motivation to write. I feel like the ending was rushed? Yes? No?
> 
> Anyways, y'all should check out my tumblr and let me know what fic you want next! I have a couple ideas up. I might do "The time Peter stayed at the tower" fic next??
> 
> TUMBLR: noirblanc333


End file.
